As we grow old, we start to look at the world with our own terms. We challenge ourselves to handle the problems. Whether it is any kind of a problem. We try to stand on our own feet trying to make a difference. We try to take all the decisions by ourselves. From moving out to live alone with freedom, to getting ourselves inked. From experiencing first love to dealing with the heart breaks. As we grow old, we look at our life as the way we want it.
But as we grow old, we mostly tend to forget that our parents are getting older as well.
What do you mean by a parent? A mother or a father aren’t somebody who are just biologically connected to a child, they’re much more than to it. A mother is somebody who would stay awake the whole night being worried for your safety and well being if you’re partying out with friends. And, a father is somebody who would wear the same three shirt and two pants on repeat, his whole life so he can buy your favourite expensive phone to see you smile.
When does the gap occurs between parents and child?
Mostly when we hit our first stage of adolescence, the age of 18. The gap automatically starts to increase between the child and their parents. Somewhat it’s not very difficult to minimise the gap if the ice is broken between the child and the parent in the initial stages. If you are a parent then you must be active with your child, you must know what is happening in their life. From their new friend to their love interests. It’s not hard becoming somebody’s best friend and it’s a cake walk when you have to be best friends with your own child because you know what exactly would be on their mind.
As the child grow up, parents must realise the importance of freedom at the right time. Although you cannot restrict freedom with the age because you see, “the freedom at right time” varies with person to person. You must understand that if you’ll be too strict, you’ll only increase the gap between your child and self.
A parent must remember that the child is a grown up person now. They are ready to face the world now. If you’ll prevent the challenges occuring on your child’s life by making it easier, you’re only snatching away the golden chances of your child to be a successful person. Since, we all have heard that “More the difficulties, more the experiences.” And, we all know the relationship between experience and success.
Challenges here can be anything. From learning to travel alone to public speaking skills. These things are as important as a human survival.
But as a child, one must not forget that as we are growing up, our parents are growing old too. The love of our parents are unconditional. We always tend to forget that when we find ourselves lonely, we actually never are. There is somebody who is concerned about your health, who is concerned about your safety. Who gets worried about you.
We often tend to forget that we actually are hiding things away from people who cares about us so much. We have a tendency to prioritize our Friends and then we choose our family, our parents. Why? I really want to ask, why?
Why can’t we bold up and answer, where we are investing our money when our parents ask us before handing over a part of their salary?
Why can’t we bold up and share the mistakes we do in our life?
Why can’t we share the things to our parents which we share with our friends?
The questions asked might make you feel uncomfortable, making you think “how can I”. But again, “why can you not?”
Why do we prioritize our friends over our parents even when we come back home to our dad and share the problem only if there is something serious?
It’s not really bad, sharing things with your parents or making them your best friends. Either of them or both. Make your mother, your best friend or your father. Tell them how your day was, or share about your heartbreaks. Tell them how you slapped a friend so hard that their teeth fell off their mouth. Or tell them you secretly went on a party. Basically, share most of your life with them because one day when you’d want to tell them everything, they wouldn’t be there with you.
It’s not ‘un-cool’ to hang out with your old buddies. ‘Un-cool’ is when, you feel them as a liability.
Just like you seek support from your parents, and expect them to be there for you, they seek unconditional love, and support as well. The relationship of a child and a parent is the most pure and serene relationship of the world. With no heartbreaks, and no separation. Always.